Loyalty’s story
Question: Where are you from and how has it shaped you as a person?
Loyalty: I am from Portland, Oregon. I was born in the 90s, so I would definitely say that was a rough era of being born. My mom was a drug addict, and my heart stopped when I was a baby. So, I was born into foster care, and she had to go to a women’s transitional program so she could get me back in her custody.
Where I'm from in Oregon, of crack hitting in the 80s and poverty, low incomes and father incarceration, lack of mentorship, lack of guidance. How has that influenced me today? I would definitely say it comes with a lot of questions, like, ‘who am I, really?’
I have to find my own identity of self love, and I have to find my own identity that’s the opposite of dysfunctional.
I think I dealt with so many people lying to me, so many people continuously hurting me, that I was like, I don't want to be that person. So today I am a CNA in the hospital, and I'm going to school to become a nurse. Well, hopefully a doctor – that is my end goal. So today I would say that's just who I am. I'm caring, compassionate, wholesome. I'm still learning.
Question: What's something that you've learned about healing that you could share with other people?
Loyalty: Okay, so one thing that I have learned about healing that I would love to share with others is be gentle with yourself. And what I mean by that is meet yourself where you're at. It's okay to process your emotions. It's okay to feel the triggers. It's okay to go through the pain and the hurt.
Our battles aren’t against us, they're for us.
Question: Who inspires you or has a big impact on you?
Loyalty: The first person I would have to say is my mother. Due to the fact that I've seen her go through so much, and she was still just a loving person. And to see her grit and her grime and her care for others was just, like, phenomenal. To be able to have that role model, that was very important. I lost her at the most important time of my life. I was 18 years old, and I really needed to ask her the questions of real life. I didn't get to experience that with her. But to see her growing up was phenomenal.
Another person I definitely will have to say is Shannon – I love that lady so much. She is just like I tell her this constantly: she's just like Harriet Tubman – that Black, strong leader that has taken us all with her in the right direction. There's freedom here, all you have to do is follow, and you can be able to be free and be woke and be compassionate, understanding and patient. Her love for God and her vision, and her sleepless nights and long days – it really goes to show the dedication and the wisdom that she provides for all of us women. She's a huge role model in my life, a really good mentor. When I'm having a hard time, I can call her up and be like, hey, how do I handle xyz?
Question: How did you get involved with Women First?
Loyalty: Okay, so when I first was approached by the program, they were giving out $500 gift cards during the pandemic. I didn't even know what I was walking into, I just knew I was coming to get a gift card. But when I sat across from Shannon, it was like the presence of God, truly. Because when she looked at me, it was like: ‘Everything is alright. It's okay.’ And I just started crying. I just broke down. And she was just all like, ‘what's wrong?’ And I was just like, ‘I'm broken.’ I didn't even know what her organization was. I didn't know what I was coming into.
And she said, I got this ‘I Love Me’ class that's about to start in two weeks. Would you like to be a part of it? And I was like, ‘sure.’ And I was going through domestic violence. I was going through – oh, God, it was so much I was going through – just unhappiness for myself. I didn't really have boundaries or know how to set boundaries, for that matter. But ever since the ‘I Love Me’ class, I am, like, completely different than who I was before.
I have to ask myself these questions when somebody even asks me for something, like: ‘Can this help me and my kids? Do they love me enough that they wouldn’t want to take away from me and my kids?’ But this is something that I learned because of Shannon and her organization.
And just to be able to have these life tools, these gems, those are very important.
I've done the Financial Literacy class. I've done the Healing Gardens class. I've done the ‘Rent Well’ class. I'm going to be getting into the Parenting class. So all the classes that she's implementing for Black culture, Black empowerment, to know that she's able to have those tools and resources to offer. It's up to me to want to apply this to my life to make a difference.
Before, I never really had a place I could go to and ask about things like financial literacy. Now I have a savings account. I know about IRAs. I know about my taxes and my deductions and what I can claim – and what I can't claim. I know how to talk to my manager at this point. For Shannon to be that advocate and that voice, and for her to teach us how to advocate for ourselves is phenomenal. Especially being Black in this world. It gives a sense of relief, and a sense of hope.
Question: Is there anything else that you want to add or share about yourself?
Loyalty: I would say I'm thankful that I choose to meet myself where I'm at. I'm thankful that I have a goal, and I'm actually taking time every day to reach it. And a big reason for that is because of Shannon’s program. And for the women that's out there that’s having a hard time loving themselves or having attachment issues or having daddy problems or mama issues or just not knowing how to navigate through life: I would definitely tell them to seek the help to open that door. And Shannon is a person that you can feel comfortable being able to approach and talk to and navigate through those things.